We found out the other day that our friends Rich and Lily are expecting a baby.
The news came during a brief visit to our place -- the two now live in Bermuda, but were in town for a visit, so we used the opportunity to invite the ol' "gang" over for a few beers and burgers.
Rich and Lily are now the last married couple in our group to get pregnant, which is awesome, exciting news (I've been waiting for this for a while, since we were the first to go through the whole experience). I am absolutely thrilled not to be the lone Mommy in the group anymore...and I'm looking forward to more baby-friendly social engagements in the future.
The thing is, as I start feeling more included, I totally feel for our non-married, non-child-bearing friends. There's definitely a divide growing - one that I totally don't want to grow, but that's impossible to really prevent. I mean, whether you want them to or not, kids change things.
We can't go on pub crawls at the drop of a Friday night hat anymore. Or pick up and head to a 7pm Jays game mid-week. Our social options are often limited to our apartment, unless we plan ahead and get a babysitter. And we spend a lot more weekends at the grandparents' lately so they get their Adelaide fix. There are obviously ways to get around these issues, but I guess the bottom line is: we just like spending time with our baby. We'd rather be with her than not with her.
I know our non-baby-crazy friends are trying their best to be happy for us...but it's hard. I assume it's something like my fourth year of university, when everyone around me had boyfriends and date nights and Valentine's chocolates. It was really lonely. I felt like I was being left behind...or replaced. I tried to make other friends and keep busy on Friday nights -- I even moved in with another single gal, into our own "bachelorette pad"-- but the transition definitely wasn't easy. It was hard to keep the panic at bay -- that panic that made me think I would never, ever find a relationship of my own.
I know our other friends will make it through this stage too...they just have to find their own way through it. In the meantime, I'll make sure I do my best to put myself in their shoes -- and fit in some "non-kid" time once in a while.