Freelancing Momma

Redefining success

One of the biggest things I struggle with as a freelance writer and work-at-home mom  is this notion that I'm not professionally successful.

I used the word "struggle" there because that's exactly what it is -- a constant, back-and-forth internal monologue rationalizing my chosen career path. On the good days, I feel like the luckiest person in the world -- I get to be at home with my kids, exercise my brain and continue to work in my chosen field. I don't have to just write about one particular topic - as a freelance writer, I can work on something different every week. I have it all!

On the bad days, I worry that my career isn't advancing as it would have if I stayed on staff at a magazine. I worry that I'm not making enough money, that my skills are deteriorating and that I'm getting a little too immersed in the mommy lifestyle. I feel bad that my husband isn't getting the same opportunities to spend time with the kids, and that when the time comes for me to re-enter the workforce, I won't be able to.

That's why this comic (below) really hit home for me. It's the words of Calvin and Hobbes creator, Bill Watterson, but drawn by someone else. The story behind it actually won me over more than the comic itself. 

Pretty awesome, right??

 

Overcoming cleaning lady guilt

 

I have a cleaning lady.

There. I said it. You’re judging me now, aren’t you?

I don’t even know if that’s the politically correct term. Cleaning person? Housekeeper? Cleaning technician? Anyway, I have one. Rather, I employ one.

I still feel guilty about it, even though our household has employed Ruby for years now. I keep hearing my German grandma’s voice in my head: “Cleaning lady? Vy vould you need a cleaning lady? You’re home all day – und you live in an apartment!”

The truth is I have one because, for starters, I’m terrible at cleaning. Not the actual act of cleaning (although I’m not great at it), just the consistency part. I procrastinate and procrastinate, and as the place becomes dirtier, I stop tidying as well. And then the laundry piles up. And, before we know it, we’re wading through knee-deep dirty laundry, the dishes have migrated from the sink to the counter, and there’s a new species of life growing in the fridge.

I’m not exaggerating. That’s what life was like, pre-Ruby. Ask our friends.

Living in a disgusting mess, with a husband who is seemingly genetically incapable of cleaning either, also puts a strain on a relationship. Ruby came into our lives before we got married – and a good thing. If it wasn’t for her, the marriage may not have happened.

It took us a long time to bite the bullet and hire her, primarily because of the afore-mentioned internal German Grandma monologue. But the fighting was getting out of control, and when I looked at the grand scheme of things, I decided that hiring a cleaning lady was better than losing a great guy whose only potentially deal-breaking fault was messiness.

It was around that time that I also started a work-at-home business. Suddenly, this wasn’t just my home – it was my office. It had to be clean, and either I was going to clean it or someone else was. If it was me, I’d be tempted to do it during the day – instead of looking for work, which would pay me a lot more than it would cost me to hire someone to clean my house.

The end result? A happier relationship. More extra time – for work and family. And a tidier house (having Ruby come every two weeks forces me to tidy before things get really out of control). The only drawback is the lingering guilt I just can’t seem to shed. It’s particularly worse when I’m home while Ruby’s cleaning. I feel like I should be helping her, or doing laundry or doing SOMETHING other than tapping away on my computer or playing with Adelaide.

I feel pretentious and privileged and rich. Which I’m not. So then I feel bad because, since part of my income has disappeared, I wonder if this luxury should too. But, honestly, I’d rather go without new clothes for a year, or forgo vacations, or – gasp! – cut back on my Rogers services than part ways with Ruby.

Does anyone else have cleaning lady guilt? Or am I the only one?

Photo: via Jenny on Pinterest

 

Friday Smile

Nothing like a little Maya Angelou on a Friday...

Source: google.com via Emily on Pinterest

Happy Friday!!!

Writing inspiration

I don't get to exercise my writing muscles as frequently as I'd like, lately. And I definitely don't get to do it when I'm actually feeling the urge. In any case, that's why I find it helpful to read articles/blog posts that will get me pumped up about writing. Stuff to reread when I actually have time, to help me get in the right mindset.

These are a few I found helpful this week:

The Positivity Blog lists Stephen King's Top 7 Tips for Becoming a Better Writer. I wouldn't call myself a huge Stephen King fan, by any means, but his tips were helpful nonetheless. My favourite (and one I need to work on)? #6 -- Read a lot.

John Paul Aguiar asked 8 Top Bloggers One Important Question: What is the One thing bloggers need to do today to succeed that they didn’t have to do in the past?

Writing Thoughts offered 7+ Reasons Why Great Content is Being Overlooked. I like the point about developing a better social media plan. Gotta get on Facebook!

My mad infographic skills

So, I'm kind of impressed with myself right now.

A while back, one of my most beloved and wonderful clients expressed an interest in putting together an infographic. They wanted to do something to benefit the mortgage brokering industry as a whole, and educate consumers about the benefits of using a broker over a bank.

Pffft....piece of cake, I thought to myself.

I mean, I'm a mad writer and my publishing background grants me plenty of access to graphic designers. Should be no problem at all. So I got to work, researching stats and drafting the content.  

When it came to finding a graphic designer, however, things got a little tricky. It turns out designing an infographic is a lot different from laying out a magazine feature. And some of the professional design sites online were quoting between $1,500 and $4000 for their services.

Yikes.

Then I found Piktochart. Um, can I tell you how much I love this site? It probably took me longer than more advanced design tool users, but within a few hours I had this:

And guess what the best part is?

It was FREE!

My $10 voice recorder

For a long time, I was anti-voice recorder.

Handwritten notes, I believed, were good enough when it came to writing journalistic articles. They forced me to focus on the interview (rather than drift off, confident in the fact that the voice recorder would catch all the boring stuff) and the batteries never died on a notepad.

The thing is, a while ago I ran into an issue where a source told me something which turned out to be completely false. I had my notes to prove it, but a voice recording would have been a lot better. In addition, my most recent writing assignment is a Q&A, and you kind of need exact wording for one of those.

So, since I pawned my old voice recorder a long time ago and wasn't ready to buy a new one, I instead opted to buy a $10 app on iTunes. Record Phone Calls by the Blue Square Group, in fact. 

Can I just say, it's really awesome? And I didn't have to spend a boatload on a new recorder, and all the attachments necessary to hook it up to my phone.

Sweet!

(photo by Rayparnova)

Pet Peeve #372: Street Marketing

I'm navigating my stroller through a crowded Toronto sidewalk, anticipating the best route to avoid the slow-walkers while simultaneously avoiding being run down by the late-for-work crowd, when all of a sudden:

"WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE WAY TO EAT A MARSHMALLOW?"

A girl jumps in front of me, seemingly out of nowhere, overly cheerful and -- more annoyingly -- messing with the flow of pedestrian traffic. I just missed my opportunity to pass the slow-walking couple holding hands in front of me.

Grrr!!

Nevermind. I move to veer around her -- half contemplating how to answer her question (there's more than one way to eat a marshmallow?) -- when, once again, I'm cut off by a similarly-uniformed person, this time a dude.

"WHAT'S YOUR KID'S NAME???"

Um...what?

Without slowing down, I politely tell him that I'm not really comfortable sharing that information with a complete stranger. He shouts after me: "Oh, come on!!! Really???" -- as if I'M the one asking HIM ridiculous questions.

The people in question are "street canvassers" -- they're helping raise money for Plan Canada's "Because I am a Girl" campaign. They're students who are trying to earn some money while making a difference in the world. I find them super annoying.

I'm not a marketing expert in the sense that I went to school for it or anything, but I am a consumer, which I believe gives me enough street cred to determine when a marketing technique is effective and when it isn't. And this type of street marketing is not. 

Plan Canada isn't the only charity that resorts to this type of marketing -- I've been bombarded by people representing Sick Kids, World Wildlife Fund...even TV Ontario. I've never given them money, or bothered to go online and look up their website after a street encounter. Mainly because they leave a bad taste in my mouth.

When I have helped companies with their marketing materials, I've found the most effective strategies tend to be the ones that actually put themselves in their target audience's shoes and give their audience what they want. Grant Thornton, for whom I've done some work, does a lot of thought leadership pieces that do just that -- offering pertinent material to help their clients. From a charity standpoint, I think the Kony 2012 did an amazing job of getting the word out about its cause. But an even simpler strategy could revolve around first-hand experiences. For example, I think the best marketing Sick Kids has is through its patients -- like this blog, written by an acquaintance of mine. 

I think the Because I am a Girl campaign is pretty amazing -- and it deserves to be marketed way better. Why not organize some low-cost events for little girls around the GTA -- like an intro to soccer clinic or a story time/literacy meet-up?

BasicallyI think the most effective marketing strategies abide by the old mantra, "Show, don't tell". Show people why your company is great, or what your charity is doing, or why you're the best in a certain field. 

Don't tell me to listen to you. And don't ask me super annoying questions.

Stressed out.

Right now, my baby is howling from her crib when she should be having her morning nap.

This is her new thing. She's still tired at her regular time. She's still grumpy at her regular time. But she won't sleep.

I find it super annoying.

Ya see, I NEED her to have a morning nap. I need my time to unwind, drink my coffee undistracted, eat my breakfast without having to share bites of it with her. I also need to have a shower, get a smidge of work done (real work, not housework) and just get my mind in order before I face the day.

I need her to be quiet. 

When I think back to my freelancing days pre-baby I ache a little. I miss my awesome office (which is now her bedroom) overlooking Lake Ontario. I miss having all the time in the world to seek out new clients, test my skills on new projects, make money. I miss being busy...with work.

That being said, I know this moment in time isn't going to last forever. I still have decades ahead of me to be busy with work. My baby is only going to be a baby for a short period of time...and I need to enjoy it. And for the most part, I do. A little too much. I feel guilty for not working full-time, for not bringing in more money, for letting the balance on my Visa card grow without the promise of a big cheque in the mail to pay it off. I feel guilty spending my days taking her for walks in the sunshine and chatting with other moms when my husband is earning a real pay cheque.

I get stressed about letting my skills slip, my client base slip, my mind slip. I get stressed that when she is finally in school and I can get back into the swing of things again, no one will want me.

The funny thing is, while on the one hand having a kid is the source of my stress, she also makes it seem so insignificant. I mean, I'm raising a frickin' HUMAN BEING here. What's more important than that?

Mom's day out

So, last night I had a bit of a freak-out.

As I mentioned back around Adelaide's first birthday, I'm having a tought time dealing with my friends going back to work. I feel like my social network is crumbling around me, and I'm left to entertain Addy three days a week when she's not in daycare.

It's tough, primarily because I'm not a Stay at Home Mom -- I'm a Work at Home Mom. I need to make money. If I could just find something (affordable) for her to do a few hours a day, I could sneak in some work, hopefully earn a bit more income and eventually hire a babysitter for those extra days. 

The thing is, as I'm finding out, there's NOTHING out there. Part of that is because we don't live in a very child-friendly area, I guess. We have a community centre down the street, but she's getting kind of old for their drop-in programs (programs that I have to attend with her). They have a toddler program but it's only one hour on Tuesdays (and, again, I have to be there). Swimming lessons also require a care giver (and cost quite a bit of money). And the closest public library offers a brief sing-a-long but only on Fridays (when she happens to be in daycare...and caregivers must be in attendance as well).

When I was Googling drop-off childcare in Toronto, I came across a Toddler's Morning Out program up at St. Claire and Bathurst. It's quite a hike, but if there was a coffee shop around, I could get some work done for a couple of hours while Adelaide interacted with other kids. They haven't called me back, and apparently there's a waiting list for this program (honestly, what else is new?), but it's exactly the type of thing I'm looking for.

From what I gather, these "Mother's Day Out" programs used to be pretty prominent back in the day (when women used to stay at home with their kids), and they continue to be pretty popular in many U.S. cities. They were hosted by local churches, and offered an affordable way for moms to get some free time (in two-hour chunks) to do some grocery shopping, attend appointments or just clear their heads.

I have no idea why similar programs aren't available here. I mean, why is everything geared towards children in their first year of life? There have to be other moms out there who didn't go back to an office job and are looking for a two-hour break? Am I the only person out there who finds it incredibly distracting, exhausting and draining to take care of a toddler? Not to mention, Adelaide needs interaction! She's a very social butterfly.

If anyone out there knows of some Mom's Day Out programs, or even fun, interactive things I can do with Addy as the Fall rolls around, I'd love to hear your suggestions!

My plan of action for work-at-home success

There are days when I just don't think it's possible to work from home in a one-bedroom condo with a one-year-old. 

For starters, it takes about one-eighth of a second for my newly-mobile Baby Tornado to make a mess of our home. Chaos is something I'm terrible at ignoring. So every time I get sidetracked with tidying, that's cutting into my work time.

Secondly, have you ever been around a one-year-old? If you have, I don't have to tell you it's EXHAUSTING. I feel like a zombie by the end of each and every day, which makes it difficult to work once she heads to bed. 

Thankfully, I have two days a week to get stuff done. But what to start with? Between household tasks (like dealing with the annoying ants that have decided to move in) and paying jobs, not to mention personal appointments (my new contact lenses are definitely the wrong perscription), it's enough to leave anyone frazzled.

So, basically, if I was kinda sorta organized before, I'm going to have to be super-over-the-top-organized now if I'm going to make this self-employed thing work. Below is my plan of action:

1. Make a to-do list the night before.

After Addy's dinner, bath, bottle and bedtime story -- and after I make and clean up dinner for us adults -- it doesn't make sense to say I'm going to do work. That's just setting myself up for failure. What I can do is jot down all the things I'd like to accomplish tomorrow, so I can check them off as I go along.

2. Wake up early.

Just the thought of this makes me tired, but it has to be done! Addy typically wakes up every morning around 7. If I head to bed at 11, I can wake up at 6am and still get the 7 hours of sleep I need. I also can use that hour for whatever I want -- like drinking my coffee in peace, checking my email or jotting down story ideas for the various newsletters and blogs that I write.

3. Make the most of her naps.

My daughter does not take monster snooze-fests, but she does sleep for 1h 15min two times a day. That's enough time to get a few things done, if I'm disciplined and know what my plan is ahead of time.

4. Set a time limit for tidying.

It's really easy to get carried away with getting my home in "perfect" condition. The thing is, a lot of stuff I can do while Adelaide's awake (she loves emptying out the Tupperware shelves in the kitchen while I do the dishes or get dinner ready). I have to pick and choose what needs to be done and set a time limit of, say, five minutes.

5. Have a designated work area.

Since Adelaide's moved into our solarium, my office has since moved into our bedroom. It's not ideal, by any means, but it's a room with a door on it. If I use my tidy time to make sure the bed is made and the clothes are in the hamper, I should be able to block out the rest of the apartment and work on the tasks at hand.

I know I have it in me to be productive even when Adelaide's around. I just have to let go of the excuses and get 'er done! I'm secretly hoping that things might get easier as she gets older, and she can entertain herself for more than 10 minutes at a time.

A question for my fellow work-at-home mommies out there: How do you do it? What fool-proof tips do you have for the rest of us?